Letters to Heaven

The timing of everything doesn't make much sense to me but, it's perfect, in its own way, in Your way, for Your perfect purpose.

shalom: wholeness, completeness, balance, healing, well-being, tranquility, prosperity, security, and justice. 


Pacific Daylight Time

I hear nothing, I see nothing, I am nothing...

take me beyond my personal sphere, to a place of caring for the world around me.

one day at a time.

the routine is gaining consistency. focus feels good today thus far. try not to overthink things and focus on the simple things and move forward.

welp. that was a stupid escalation. i upset my love. i hope she has patience. i pray for grace.

Over and over again God has to teach us how to stand and endure, watching actively and wondering. It is always a wonder when God answers prayer. We hear people say, “We must not say it is wonderful that God answers prayer”; but it is wonderful. It is so wonderful that a great many people believe it impossible.


Like approaching the sun with my eyes open,
afraid of the damaging effects long told.
The science behind the glare,
the definitely "do not stare!"
In all of this,
aside from the voices that surround me,
the coaches,
the mentors,
the parents,
my peers,
there is a strange peace that resides in my soul,
a still small voice of comfort.
Guiding me forward,
whispered assurances of safety,
heavenly calm.

open up then eyes,
to the sky above,
though my peers scowl,
look to the sky,
take in the sun,
for it is but one of the few things promised,
unrealized by man.

...wonderfully brisk,

It is amazing the battle that rages in the mind on daily basis. Gusts of thoughts, trying to influence our direction. When we were younger we did not notice this battle as much. We did what we wanted when we wanted, paying no attention to consequence. We, like the seeds of the dandelion, are blown effortlessly in the wind, skipping along, appearing to have no idea of our destination, the slivers of us sent back to root.

As I've aged, much of me has fallen back to earth along the way, some in rocks, some washed away in streams, and some, thankfully, plotted in bountiful soil. I realize now that the wind never really controlled the final resting place of those many parts of me. I chose the destinations because I was unaware of the consequences, or maybe, aware but, irresponsible and irreverent. In this, with what pieces of me are left, I am reminded:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”

Viktor Frankl

"Many claim to have unfailing love,

Unfailing love without faithfulness? Impossible. It seems to me that one cannot even approach the footstool of love without a faithful nature. Faithful in routine, with fleshly ways beaten into submission - disciplined.

Days where my flesh leads and waking meditations are avoided, my mind stumbles as if it were wading through a swamp of fruitless thought. Bogged down.

Faithful routine creates in my mind a warm fluid stream that is a spring to my soul - effortless wading, buoyant, and revitalizing.

As I asked for love to be the one true thing that I be so humbly allowed to experience in life, so may I request strength to be diligent in the things that allow me to be in it's presence. Allow for me the strength to be faithful.

I tossed and turned with a stomach longing for love. I realized that is how You long for me. To be in communion with You, with desire and admiration. It is a love I cannot comprehend and that is why it overwhelms me, You overwhelm me. It isn't something my mind can try to contain. It floods my thoughts to the point that there is nothing else but, love and the longing to be near it, in its presence, in Your presence.

14,396 days on the earth. I'm ashamed of the time I've wasted not admiring all that You have given but, I promise to do my best to try not to waste another moment of it. I'm humbled by Your grace.

Every beat of my heart, massaged by Your gentle hand is a blessing.